there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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