..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
