if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
