it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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