I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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