We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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