honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
