did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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