he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
