Already got asked if we're dating
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
