No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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