I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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