so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
