My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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