the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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