when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
