Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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