PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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