im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
