when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
