We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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