one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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