Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
