sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
