The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude i'm inner monologue high
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
