return my video game
Non-Jews are for practice
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
