guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The beer is more important than you right now.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
