You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
