I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
