I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
