We're like a lot better than the average bears
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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