Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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