I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
