Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
