In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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