I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize