I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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