it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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