Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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