no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize