Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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