So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
