i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
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We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
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You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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