I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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