You really coming over, don't trick.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize