it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
there was a trapeze. enough said
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize