It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
