I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
send nudes
from the living room?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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