Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
