She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
