I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
