Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
