There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
