thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
