oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
